time

Christmas, the best time of the year. It used to be the best time of the year for me. But last Christmas was just painful and for some reason I can't seem to get into the 'holiday spirit' this year either.  Deep down I have this overwhelming urge to just want to burst into tears when I see touching holiday commercials or hear sentimental Christmas songs. Christmas is about family and part of my family is missing. My dad. And ever since he passed away, Christmas just isn't the same. So needless to say, every time I see that McDonald's commercial about Dads and how all they want for Christmas is quality time I want call McDonald's up and tell them they shouldn't be allowed to air that commercial because it a constant reminder I don't have a Dad to spend quality time with. But since I cant do that, I am going to choose to hope that every time that painful commercial plays in my living room that someone else is being reminded to give their dad the gift of love and quality time this Christmas.
So this Christmas I encourage everyone to not take family fore granted.  Instead of worrying about which gifts to by, think deeper and choose to spend time with the ones you love. Send them words of love and encouragement. Give them a hug and tell them you love them. I don't remember what I bought my dad for Christmas 5 or 10 years ago, but I remember the time we spent together and the times all he wanted me to do was sit on his lap and hug his neck.  This Christmas season remember whats important and share the gift of time.

The simple life

Why have a house and a mortgage when you can live out of your vehicle? I mean really. Life on the go all the time... it was great, but good bye old life!
I get to settle down and live out of a real house. Not a small 600 sq/ft apartment, but a real house with doors on the bedrooms and a garage, a washer and dryer and even a dishwasher! Yes our very own dishwasher! Clayton and I have been married for 5 and 1/2 years and this is going to be the first time we have ever had a dishwasher.  ( I don't know if you can tell but it really doesn't take alot to amuse me!)
I don't know why, but for some reason I am excited to ditch the fast-passed city life and settle in to the simplicity of a small town. I am also looking forward to having snow to play in with Liam. I know from pushing him around the house in a laundry basket today that he is going to love being pulled in a baby sled.  

So many people are wondering if I am stressed, nervous, scared. Yes, I think I am. But I know that we are about to start a new adventure and I get to decorate a house so I am pretty excited. Plus, the church we are moving to is FULL of great people. They are welcoming, friendly and very hospitable.
The biggest stress I feel is packing up and driving 6 hours with my little bundle of joy Liam who cannot handle to much time strapped into a car seat.
Anyways, thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts and please continue to pray for us as well start another move to the north! We are renting a u-haul tonight and off tomorrow!

Love is an action word

Responsibilities. We all have them. Everyday we think about the responsibilities we have with our jobs, our families and many other tasks we take on. But as wealthy North Americans, do we think about the responsibility we have to think beyond ourselves.  Yes, there are also North Americans living in poverty or even just struggling to get by that need our attention as well.
(I guess I am mostly speaking for myself here, since I don't want to say that others are not fulfilling their responsibility to help others in need).
Have you ever noticed that it is easy to think about the changes that we need to make in our lives, but if we don't speak them out and allow other people to keep us motivated and accountable to the changes we want to implement in our lives than they can easily dwindle away? So here it is.
I know time and time again I have had this feeling of guilt when I spend money on things that I don't need instead of giving to other people who do need.  I was having this conversation with Kelsey Quist over lunch the other day how for some reason as girls, and some guys I am sure to, feel as though we need to spend SO much money on brand name clothing and purses, when the reality is we are doing it so other people notice, but do other people really care? We think they do, but really know one really cares if our jeans are R&R or from stitches. No one is going to judge us if we have a vintage purse instead of a coach purse. I am a product of this 'brand' name thinking as well, so I am speaking from my own desires. Yes, it is nice to reward yourself every now and than by spending money on nice clothes, but do we need to spend ALL our money on nice clothes? no.
I strongly feel that we have a responsibility to make sure that we use the money we have wisely. To stop thinking about all the things that we want and start thinking about the people who are in need. There are many children in the world that need sponsorship, many families in need of food and shelter. I want to start using the money I have to bless others instead of using the spare money I have on myself.
There are so many ways that we can get involved in making a positive change in this world. We can sponsor a kid or family to go to camp. Or if you know a family with lots of kids and you think, it must be pricy for that family to send all their kids to camp, it likely is! So, why not bless them and offer to pay for one of their kids? We can get a sponsor child from an organization. We can sponsor a missionary. We can donate to organizations. There are a few non-profit organizations that I can think of that have blessed my life in numerous ways and I can give back through donations, since donations is really the only way they can really get by: such as Moose Lake Gospel Camp or Eston College. We can send a care package to a friend in college whose finances are tight. Take a friend for lunch or coffer. Send Operation Christmas Child boxes out.
There are also things we can do that don't involve spending more money like giving our used clothing and blankets to shelters or food to food banks. We can share the many baby clothes with have by giving to swaddle share (swaddleshare@groups.facebook.com  )
I want to take steps to make change and these are just a few simple ways and ideas I have. Please feel free to join me on this challenge!

to shop or not to shop... thats the big question

... and to not shop is what I have decided. I want to take a public pledge. No shopping unless it is for Christmas. Here's the thing, I go through these shopping up's and down's. When I get this 'urge' to buy buy buy, it comes hard and fast, everything I see looks so appealing and I WANT it. But than I go on a shopping downer and don't want anything and feel quit satisfied with everything I have. Many times I have thought about making Clayton take my visa and debit away, but thats just immature. I need to practice my own restraint. So here it is, I am not buying. I am not in need. In fact I am abundently blessed with so much 'stuff'. I want to live in thankfulness for all that I have.
This summer I was faced with a challenge of my own. God was challenging me to give to others every time I wanted to give to myself. So, instead of buying that cute shirt for myself, buy it for someone else. When I am craving a latte, buy a latte for someone else. I was reminded that God will use me to do big things when He knows I can follow through on doing the small things in life first.
There were two instances this summer when I followed through on this challenge and I cannot even explain the joy it brought me when I was able to bless others instead of giving into my own desires. I have a shoe fetish, and one day I was thinking about shoes I wanted, and seriously did not need. I felt God press on my heart someone in need of some shoes. So I sat down this girl and told her what God was telling me and she was so excited because she needed new shoes and could not afford them! It felt so great to give to someone who really needed.
One other day, my mom and I were at the Penticton market. I was so excited to see this coffee stand set up that sells this great coffee! My mom and I were walking around with our coffees when a woman at a vegetable stand commented on how great our coffee smelt. Right away I said, "do you want a coffee? I will go get you one right now." Before she could respond I walked back to the coffee stand and bought her a coffee. Seriously, a coffee is what $2.00? That $2.00 made her day and she was so overwhelmed with happiness that a stranger would even do that for her. My bank account was not even effected that day, but my heart was and that ladies day was.
So, I guess I am revising my challenge. I will not shop for myself, but if the Lord lays in on my heart to bless someone else I will.  I am not losing out in anyway though, for when you bless another you bring an unspeakable joy and pleasure to your own life that cannot be bought or exchanged by any cute shirt or great pair of boots.
Of course I cannot be nieve, I will shop again. But until Christmas is over I do not need anymore clothes (which is the culprit in this case). I will be satisfied with all I have and care more about others in need for the next two months.

cant turn back now

We are on a long journey back to the good ol' area of northern Alberta. I am used to being settled in a 'home' by this point of the year, finished up at Moose Lake for another year and back to life somewhere else. But for some reason I find myself traveling backwards. This trip from Pentiction would not feel so long if Liam would just enjoy sitting strapped into his car seat, but since he needs to get out of his seat often to stretch his legs and find stuff to chew on, we have a break the trip up. So here we are in a hotel in Valemount. It is very beautiful here and the waterslide and pool have cheered me up!
"walk on, walk on, walk on cause you can`t turn back now," is the song (by The Weepies) that played in the truck twice on the way here. It really struck me as a bit of truth for our life today. We are travelling back to a small town, all of our stuff in a horse trailor, (yes, we bought a horse trailor) and there is no turning back now. Clayton has a job offer and is preaching at a small evangelical church in Glendon Sunday. I am so nervous about what we are about to do, and equally excited. It`s strange because I am feeling polar-opposite emotions about this whole new adventure and it makes me dizzy.
But just like the song advised me, we will walk on and not turn back. If things don`t work out in Glendon and we have to turn to plan `B` (whatever plan B is LOL), than I am OK with that! But if Clayton gets this job and I become a pastors wife, than I am also happy and ready to become a small town mamma. I will learn to make perogies, crazy carpet down the hill to the beach at MLGC in the winter, maybe get a couple chickens, cross-country ski down the horse trail and take in the breath-taking sun-sets on the flat land all around me. But either way I am all in.

tis the season for change

 Fall, it is a friendly and beautiful reminder that change is in the air, not just in the leaves but also in my life. I have never been a big lover of fall until I moved to BC, coming from Alberta fall is a very short season somewhere between summer and snow. The tree's only seem to get a short chance to reveal their beauty before the snow and frost arrive to turn everything from colours of orange and gold to a depressing brown that lasts until about the end of April. But fall in BC is a gorgeous event that lasts a good month or more. I have never really appreciated fall until these past three years.
My recommendations for fall in BC is walking down 6th ave in Vancouver in Kitsilano between Yew and Trafilager. Keremos near Pentiction and see the pumpkin patch and walk through a apple orchard. Drive around the Skaha in Pentiction or take a trip to Naramata and dip your toes in the cold Okanagen water. These have been my favorite places so far.
The trees are not the only things changing though right now, my life is changing as slow as the trees in BC.  
It's funny because I want my life to hurry up and get where it's going, because living homeless at my mom's with all of my belonging's in a trailer in storage is starting to get to me.

                

Today though I think I am learning that I need to just sit back and enjoy the slow change in my life. Enjoy the change along the way to where we are going. Maybe God is implementing slow change in my life so that I am able to take enough time to truly think and contemplate about where this change is actually taking me.  I have a feeling that once I get there I am going to be thankful for this time I have had to wrap my mind around the destination God is bringing my family to. So today, I choose to be thankful for slow change.

Psalm 112

   Hallelujah! Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear God, 

   Who cherish and relish his commandments, 

   Their children robust on the earth, 

   And the homes of the upright—how blessed! 

   Their houses brim with wealth 

   And a generosity that never runs dry. 

   Sunrise breaks through the darkness for good people— 

   God's grace and mercy and justice! 

   The good person is generous and lends lavishly; 

   No shuffling or stumbling around for this one, 

   But a sterling and solid and lasting reputation. 

   Unfazed by rumor and gossip, 

   Heart ready, trusting in God, 

   Spirit firm, unperturbed, 

   Ever blessed, relaxed among enemies, 

   They lavish gifts on the poor— 

   A generosity that goes on, and on, and on. 

   An honored life! A beautiful life! 

   Someone wicked takes one look and rages, 

   Blusters away but ends up speechless. 

   There's nothing to the dreams of the wicked. Nothing.

-The Message

life

Just the other day a friend of mine was faced with the ultimate thing that utterly makes life around you stop. Every second we seem to overlook as we continue on through our day seems to pause, and although the world around us keeps moving at high pace, we are frozen in a moment: the moment a loved one dies.
As I heard the news that my friend's father passed away after his plane spiralled to the earth taking his life, I was instantly reminded of the losses I have faced in the passed two years, which included the life of my own dad. I felt something grab my heart and twist it in pain.
Death is all around us. I don't know about other people, but a swear that as soon as we reach a certain age, it seems like death enters our life at a high paced rate and as soon as we know it we have great loss in our life.  Chapters are written in our personal story that we did not write and these chapters cannot be erased and re-written. They are what they are and we can reread them, taking in the memories, because that is all that we are left with for now.
I cannot help but feel a sharp pain inside my heart as I contemplate on this tragedy.  If I did not have hope in Jesus Christ and the future resurrection, which promises me that I will one day be re-united with my father, my grandparents, Brad Hartsook, and others, than how could I go on finding any joy in life. If we lost loved ones every year but don't have hope to see them again one day, than every relationship we make in life has emptiness.

But I thank the Lord that Tiffany's dad is in Heaven holding her precious baby girl Kiya who was waiting in heaven for her grandpa to hold her close. And I thank the Lord that my Dad is also in heaven, re-united with his parents who have been waiting for him so they can catch up on the many years they have missed together. I do not thank the Lord because we no longer get to be with our loved ones, not at all! In fact I think it would have been better for Chuck Matson to have seen his new granddaughter who was born two days after he passed away, and I wish my dad was here with my mom and to see his grandson Liam, and I wish my husbands Uncle Larry was here to be with his family and Brad was here to call his mom everyday and continue making people feel loved and accepted. But God has a plan, and I don't understand it, but I know I do not have to be afraid of where I am going because there are amazing people waiting on the other side.