To find love is to find God. For God is Love in his most great, powerful and immaculate form. Glory to God in the highest. In Thyne Holy Trinity Amen.
-Morris Stadnyk
2 years has passed. I feel like I just blinked my eye and so much has changed. I have a little boy turning one years old in a couple days, I live in a new place, we have new jobs and no dad. The day my dad passed away I felt my life go into slow slow motion but the world around me was racing in fast motion. I remember feeling like the the pace between my life and the world around me was clashing so hard that my mind was going to explode. Today I wish I could go into slow motion again without all of the pain. I wish I could just have one more day with my dad while he was healthy. I would ask him to tell me stories about his life, things he has learnt and ways He felt God.
I remember the last day I talked to my dad on the phone before he ended up in the hospital. For some reason that memory replays in my mind often. I was walking on Broadway near Arbutus, across the street from IGA (infront of a strip of medical clinics). He didn't sound very well and said he was having swelling but not to worry. Classic, he always told us not to worry, God was going to heal him. He told menus had bought a new golf club and was excited to get his swing back as soon as April hit. I had a deep feeling he might now get to use that new club. I remember saying goodbye and hanging up, walking down a sunny Vancouver street crying. I had not given up hope in God but I knew reality was about to hit my family hard. Nothing could have prepared me for the three week journey we were about to take though. A few days later I was in Penticion. 2 years later and I am writing this blog watching CBC kids with my little boy.
God healed my dad, now He is working on healing my family and our wounds. There is a song called " your hand in mine" by explosions in the sky. I listened to that song over and over again after my dad passed away. It's a powerful song and cuts my heart deep.
When you watch someone you love die from cancer you wonder if there is a God, but God was there with us when my dad took his last breath. We felt him, you couldn't miss it. Gods presence was strong and powerful and good thing because we needed it. Even the nurses noticed it and cried.
I miss you dad and love you more than words in a blog can explain.
your daughter
