New Years Resolution

I know what some of you might be thinking, "Blogging on New Years Eve?"... lol, yes. Lame? Well if I was not 7 months pregnant with a toddler who went to bed an hour ago, than definitely lame.  Even though I am not ringing in the New Year with great excitement, I decided I better still make a New Years resolution. But I am not planning on making a resolution to wake up at 7 am every morning with a hot cup of coffee to spend time with myself while doing Pilate's before Liam and Clayton get out of bed. As nice as I thought that sounded I know I wont do it. Especially because the one morning during the holidays when I couldn't sleep I got up at 6 am to make cinnamon buns, had coffee and listened to music quietly in the kitchen before anyone was up and I paid for it by lunch time when I was dying for a nap. So being pregnant with a toddler, I am going to covet sleep instead.
This New Year of 2012 I am going to focus on being positive. When I lived in Vancouver I tried really hard to embrace positive thinking. It plays into so many situations and really pays off. For me, being a positive thinker means moving forward. Living a life of love, forgiveness and letting go of the negative things that we tend to hold onto that make us say and do things we end up regretting. Negativity spoils life.
So bring it on 2012! I have a lot to look forward to. I am turning 27 in 8 days, I have a baby boy turning 2 in February and a new little baby coming into this world the beginning of March.  We are settled in in Glendon and I don't have to worry about travelling back and forth from here to there like Clayton and I used to do. As fun as our transient life was, I am so glad to be settled and not living out of a suitcase and truck. Clayton and I are happy and blessed with great friends and family, a loving church and good health.
So I will raise my cup of tea to this last year and hope I can make it till midnight without falling asleep, but I am not counting on it!

Fish Tacos

FISH TACO'S WITH FRESH SALSA

Fish Tacos:

Hard Tacos or soft corn tortillas
2 Pieces of white fish
1/4 cup flour seasoned (salt & pepper)
1/2 fresh lemon or lime

Put fish in flour mixture. Heat butter in pan on medium heat and cook about 5 min. per side or until it flakes apart easy. Squeeze lemon or lime on top. Break up fish into pieces and set aside.

Fresh Salsa:

3 large Roma Tomatoes chopped
Handful of fresh cilantro
1/4 of a red onion chopped
1 tbsp lime juice or half a fresh lime squeezed
1 avocado diced
Salt & pepper

mix all ingredients together and refridgerate while preparing the fish.

Assemble fish, hot sauce, fresh salsa on the tacos and enjoy! I like to use Franks Hot Sauce. These tacos are simple and so good.

Fettuccine with Squash, Mushrooms, and Spinach

Fettuccine with Squash, Mushrooms, and Spinach
(recipe found on Epicurious.com)

• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 12 ounces fettuccine pasta

• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, divided
• 3 cups 1/2-inch cubes butternut squash (from 1-pound squash)
• 8 ounces fresh shiitake mushrooms, stemmed, caps sliced
• 1 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage
• 1 5- to 6-ounce package baby spinach
• 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided

Cook pasta in large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. Drain, reserving 1 cup pasta cooking liquid.

Meanwhile, melt 1/4 cup butter in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add squash and cook until almost tender, stirring often, about 6 minutes. Add mushrooms, sage, and remaining 1/4 cup butter; sauté until mushrooms are soft and squash is tender, about 8 minutes. Add spinach; stir until wilted, about 2 minutes. Stir in 1/2 cup cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Add pasta to sauce in skillet. Toss to coat, adding pasta cooking liquid by 1/4 cupfuls if dry. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup cheese.

•               1/2 cup clarified butter

•               1/2 cup slivered almonds

•               1/2 lemon

•               handful of parsley leaves

•               1/2 cup all-purpose flour

•               kosher salt (to taste)

•               freshly ground black pepper (to taste)

•               1/2 cup milk

•               2 skinned, but not deboned, sole (about 7 ounces/200 grams each)

            Place the flour into a shallow bowl and season it generously with salt and pepper. Don’t be afraid of adding a fair amount of seasoning, as most of it will be left behind. Place the milk into a separate shallow bowl and gather the fish.

            To cook the fish, heat the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat until it is hot and foaming.

            Dip the sole first in the milk and then dredge it in the flour mixture. Shake off the excess and lay it in the skillet. Turn the heat to medium-low and cook for about 2-3 minutes per side. Gently flip the fish over and cook until done.

            Transfer the fish to a serving plate and squeeze with lemon juice to taste.

            To finish the dish, toss the almonds in the hot butter to warm them through. Then add the parsley, but be careful as it may splatter. Pour the almond, parsley and butter mixture over the fish and serve immediately.

*This is not really a weight-watchers fish recipe. You can use less butter, but let me tell you... the butter makes its so good. Serve over rice with steamed vegetables.

Almond Sole

by Laura C in Rouxbe Recipes

Fresh sole is pan-fried in clarified butter until golden and finished with slivered almonds, parsley and fresh lemon juice.

• Serves: 2 
• Active Time: 15 mins 
• Total Time: 15 mins

Tortellini Soup

Mushroom

Leek, Chicken Sausage and Tortellini Soup

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 5 large mushrooms, chopped
• 2 large leeks, cleaned, and cut into 1/4 inch thick rounds
• 6 cups chicken broth
• 4 chicken sausages, sliced in 1/3-inch rounds
• 1 (9 ounce) package cheese tortellini
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 tablespoons hot pepper sauce (e.g. Tabasco™), or to taste
• salt and pepper to taste
• 5 sprigs chopped fresh cilantro, for garnish

Directions

1. Place the olive oil in a skillet, and heat over medium-high heat. Stir in the mushrooms and leeks; cook and stir until they soften, about 5 minutes. Set aside until needed.
2. Meanwhile, pour the chicken broth into a large pan, and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Add the sausage, tortellini, garlic, and hot sauce. Reduce heat to medium, and stir in the mushrooms and leeks. Cover, and simmer soup mixture for 30 minutes. Serve garnished with cilantro

*I made this for supper tonight and  I didn't use chicken sausage, I just used ukrainian sausage. Clayton raved about this soup that I found on allrecipes.com. It might sound different but it is so so good. 

A Love For Cooking

I think my love for cooking happened when I found my favorite book of all time, Best-Ever Soups. I found this big recipe book in Montana when Clayton and I were on our way home from a family ski trip at Whitefish a few years ago. We stopped in this book store and I found it this book that changed my culinary life. Lucky for me my husband LOVES soup.

I love to search for new recipes and seldom use my cook books, with the exception of my big book of Best-Ever Soups. I spend alot of time on the web searching for new recipes to try and when it is worthy of making again I write it down and keep the recipe on record in my bright pink album.

Not very long ago Clayton and I watched the movie Julie & Julia, which sparked a whole new obsession of spending even more time reading recipes and reading about how to be a better 'chef'. One website that is a must-have bookmark is  www.http://rouxbe.com a cooking school full of online recipes and tips. Super addictive if you love cooking. There is inspiration from Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Julia Childs book).

Anyways, I have been asked several times what kind of food I cook at home and it is really hard to pinpoint. Clayton and I are not meat and potatoes every night kinda people... well Clayton will eat whatever is on the table and if it was up to him to have super ready I would walk in the house to be greeted by delissio pizza. But lucky for me he thinks that two weeks ago he got food poisoning from a delissio pizza so I have a feeling that is off the menu plan for a while. I have nothing against store bought pizza, but I would much rather make one from scratch. Why have 3 Meat delissio when you can have a homemade Tomato and Bocconcini Pizza with Balsamic glaze drizzled on top and a drop of pesto sauce? Right?!

Ok, I am a food nerd. I love meal time. I am so nerdy that sometimes when I cant sleep at night because the baby inside me wont stop kicking, I have leg cramps and I have to pee, I think about what kind of eggs I should make for breakfast in the morning.  But I can admit that weirdness because I know Clayton appreciates it. So, since I have had people tell me I should share some recipes I like, I am going to start posting some of my favorites. Enjoy!

Nothing Beats Family

I was driving to Bonnyville to do some shopping the other day. I love when I go by myself and I can blast my music and have some 'me' time.  I don't know what song I was listening to but I found myself tearing up and feeling emotional about life. All of a sudden a flood of thoughts raced through my head and I started to think about all the things I would do if I didn't have a toddler and expecting another baby.  I guess I was having a loss of independence breakdown.
I thought to myself, if I still lived in Vancouver with no kids, what would I be doing? Shopping, working at a salon and pushing myself to become a better stylist, going for coffee at 49th Parallel and enjoying walks down to the beach in peace. I would hit up a few of my favorite restaurants and of course go to Brown Rice Sushi every other day.
So in down on life moment, I decided to go to the only cute little cafe around in Bonnyville and sit by myself with Chai Latte.  As I sat at the table I thought, "now what?".  I am not used to being by myself anymore. I went on facebook on my iPhone for a couple minuets and spent maybe 2 minuets just thinking before I got pretty bored and started to think, "Why is it so quiet in here? oh, cause Liam is not being noisy. Why am I sitting here, this is weird, oh, because I am not chasing Liam. I wonder if Liam is up from hi nap?"
After thinking about my little family back home in Glendon, I realized there was no where else I would rather be. I would much rather be sitting at home listening to Liam say, "mama, moo, ruf-ruf, bear" and have him constantly be pulling on my finger to do something or asking me "whats this?" than be sitting here alone in a cafe. I would rather be sitting around at night with my amazing husband choosing baby names for our next child than be out (well I would like to be out to, that's not 100% true lol) but I would want to be with Clayton.
I got up right away and got in my car. As I drove home I choose the "scenic" route past Northshore Heights and felt so happy to be able to drive and look at Moose Lake, one of my favorite places.  Than I realized there is no where else I would rather be. I love living near Moose Lake and I LOVE my husband and little Liam so so much. Having a family does take some adjusting sometimes because you need to learn how to be selfless and not selfish alot. But I wouldn't trade it for anything or for time by myself in a cafe.

11:1-6

The last few days I know that I need some change in my life. I just want more depth, wisdom and meaning. I know there are some things in my life that need some changing and I finally picked up Eugene Peterson' Remix of the Bible in contemporary language called The Message. On the back of the book in small text I read the words Read. Think. Pray. Love.   Simple words.
So as I opened up The Message I had this sense of fullness. It had wisdom, purpose and devotional pieces of scripture that spoke directly to me in a new and very raw way that I have been needing for a while now. I encourage everyone to get a copy because it is changing my life.

This morning I was flipping through The Message seeking to find a piece of knowledge to challenge me and I came across this great piece of poetry in Ecclesiastes 11:1-6.

Be generous. Invest in acts of charity.

Charity yeilds high returns.

Dont hoard your goods, spread them around.

Be a blessing to others. This could be your last night.

When the clouds are full of water, it rains.

When the winds blow down a tree, it lies where it falls.

Dont sit there watching the wind. Do your own work.

Dont stare at the clouds. Get on with your life.

Just as you'll never understand 

the mysteries of life forming in a pregnant woman,

So you'll never understand 

the mystery at work in all that God does.

Go to work in the morning

and stick to it until evening without watching the clock.

You never know from moment to moment 

how your day will turn out in the end.

I miss my sis

Ok, times up! It's been a week since Stacey and Jeremy packed there bags, cleaned their house and had hours left before flying South. So many people asked me if I was sad and going to miss them and in my toughness and lack of ability to think emotionally beyond the moment, said "Ya, but I am way to happy for them."  Well, I am still happy for them, but I think a week is long enough for Stacey to have fled the country. She is my go-to-person. I feel crapy, I call Stacey. I am bored, I text Stacey. I am excited, I call Stacey. I am at work, I text Stacey. I think I am dying from something random, I diagnose myself on the internet than call Stacey.
Now what?
Internet is just not the same. Facebook is good and email's help but what about when I need to text and call like right now?
Thankfully my wonderful friend Laura-Lie must have had some intuition and told me today that she can be my go-to-person when I need to just text, call or say Hi for a quick min. (thanks for knowing what I need :)

I should admit that Stacey did call me Saturday night from Fort Lauderdale and emails VERY often. SO I should not complain.

It has taken Stacey leaving to make me realize some important things about myself: such has how I am a medium poached egg. My heart is not soft and it's not hard either. It doesn't explode with tears and runny yoke on the first poked. It takes a few pokes, a couple of days for reality to sink in before I have some runny yoke. So it has been a couple of days and I am starting to realized how long it is going to be until Christmas!! (when I see my go-to-person again).

I guess in a positive light, I will be that much more thankful of my sister and Jer and eveything that they are to me when they return. So, until Christmas I will lend them to Haiti where they need them more than  I need to text Stacey with my bad health diagnoses. Instead she can give others answers on their health and really help people with more needs than me... but only until Christmas!

We are the world

It is so easy to be moved and impacted by songs like this in our hearts and minds, but it is not always as easy to be moved to actually move to a country and help people in desperate need. My sister Stacey and her husband Jeremy have been moved, not by this song (she had never heard this song before). But they have been moved by compassion to go to another country, Haiti. One of the poorest and underdeveloped places in the world. Stacey will be nursing and Jeremy will be teaching english. I am so proud of them  for not just saying, "isn't it awful what devestation is happening in the world, I wish I could help." They have packed up all of their personal belongings and stored them, rented out their place and pack two travel backpacks with as much necessities as they could fit and flew out of Canada this morning to Haiti. Many people have asked me if I am super sad that I wont see my sister for a long time, but the truth is I am way to proud of my sister to be sad.
Thankfully, Stacey and Jeremy will be flying home at Christmas time for a short two weeks before flying out once again to travel the world and continue on to help the helpless in Cambodia for another number of months.  (jeremy you are the best brother for buying plane tickets home for Christmas!!! I love you!).
Anyways, I hope the courage and ambition that Stacey and Jeremy have will spur the rest of us on to actually carry out the missions that God has given each of us. The possibilities are endless and so are the people in need around the world.  What dreams has God placed on your heart to do... meditate on it, pray about it and do it. Not easy, but something to seriously think about.
I love you Stacey and Jer!

check out their blog,

	http://www.marriedwithluggage.blogspot.com

My light, my strength, my song

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a lifes first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Home Sweet Home

          Welcome to Glendon. Thats what the sign read to me as I drove into town. I slowed down and thought "what on earth am I doing reading this sign in the middle of winter?" I usually see this sign a couple times of year in the summer and don't pay to much attention to it other than get a feeling of excitement to be that much closer in my drive to Moose Lake.  I couldn't help but think it is actually kind of an ugly sign, it has a really small picture of a cow and fish. But I guess it kind of sums up this town, everyone loves fishing in summer and winter and most people here have cattle.  So, where do we fit? I don't like to fish and I cant say I know to much about cattle. But we do feel like we 'fit' here for some reason. In fact when I go to the city I am usually really happy to get home where it is quieter and less consumeristic. 

           Its funny because I am working at the salon in town 2 days a week and many people ask what we are doing here? Why would we come to Glendon from Vancouver? And when I say "Ya we like it, its nice" (with a bit of reluctance because both of us know Glendon is not really nice) I usually get a response like, "oh ya? I would take -25 weather for half of the year over +5 winters and flowers year round to!" Haha, ya, not really.

          But to be honest, we do like it here. We have made some great friends, we can go out to Moose Lake and walk in the quiet forest and sit on our snow covered deck looking at the beautiful snow covered lake. We dont just like being able to do that, we love that. Clayton and I are both waiting some-what patiently for the snow to be gone so we can spend more time at the cabin and spend nights there. I am also waiting not-so patiently for my son to start walking so he can run around at Moose Lake.

         Anyways, many people have been wondering how we are doing out here and if we are enjoying our new jobs and life, and we are. I guess when you take the scary steps of walking into the life that God has planned for you, He will also help you settle in and bless you enormously for being faithful to His will. And we do feel greatly blessed to be here. I do miss Vancouver, but I also am glad to be here. All we need it a quad, snow-mobile and a couple horses on some land over-looking Moose Lake and we are set! That might take time but I will wait. I am going to attempt growing a garden and flowers to, because that is also what people do here. I am nervous about it though because I am struggling to keep the one house plant I have alive. I am sure I will fail at learning to be domestic and 'country' but I will try. I have made a few crapy roasts and my first attempt at home-made buns sucked, but I keep trying and things are  improving. (Yes homemade baking and cooking local-raised food is also what we Glendonites do).  So, you Moose Lakers, stop by my house on the way to the lake this summer and I will hopefully have some fresh baking ready for you!

Lying in the hands of God

To find love is to find God. For God is Love in his most great, powerful and immaculate form. Glory to God in the highest. In Thyne Holy Trinity Amen. 
-Morris Stadnyk

2 years has passed. I feel like I just blinked my eye and so much has changed. I have a little boy turning one years old in a couple days, I live in a new place, we have new jobs and no dad. The day my dad passed away I felt my life go into slow slow motion but the world around me was racing in fast motion. I remember feeling like the the pace between my life and the world around me was clashing so hard that my mind was going to explode. Today I wish I could go into slow motion again without all of the pain. I wish I could just have one more day with my dad while he was healthy. I would ask him to tell me stories about his life, things he has learnt and ways He felt God.
I remember the last day I talked to my dad on the phone before he ended up in the hospital. For some reason that memory replays in my mind often. I was walking on Broadway near Arbutus, across the street from IGA (infront of a strip of medical clinics). He didn't sound very well and said he was having swelling but not to worry. Classic, he always told us not to worry, God was going to heal him. He told menus had bought a new golf club and was excited to get his swing back as soon as April hit. I had a deep feeling he might now get to use that new club. I remember saying goodbye and hanging up, walking down a sunny Vancouver street crying. I had not given up hope in God but I knew reality was about to hit my family hard. Nothing could have prepared me for the three week journey we were about to take though. A few days later I was in Penticion. 2 years later and I am writing this blog watching CBC kids with my little boy.
God healed my dad, now He is working on healing my family and our wounds. There is a song called " your hand in mine" by explosions in the sky. I listened to that song over and over again after my dad passed away. It's a powerful song and cuts my heart deep.
When you watch someone you love die from cancer you wonder if there is a God, but God was there with us when my dad took his last breath. We felt him, you couldn't miss it. Gods presence was strong and powerful and good thing because we needed it. Even the nurses noticed it and cried.
I miss you dad and love you more than words in a blog can explain.
your daughter

God break my heart for the things that break yours

I was heartbroken tonight as I watched a TV show called DOC on CTV about the Haiti issues right now. I kept tearing up every time they showed young children abandoned. The worst thing is these children are not just alone because they lost their families in the earthquake, some of them were abandoned or sold before the earthquake ever took place and organizations like UNICEF are trying to reunite children with family;s who do not even want them. Imagine the pain, being reunited with your Mommy and she is unhappy to see you because you, a 7 year old boy, unwanted.
And me... I am up here in Canada living a safe cushy life. My little boy has food, clothes and a warm crib to sleep in. I have more than enough, including the love of family and friends.
I am broken,

my heart is in pain,
for children I don't even know.
God, please please bring these kids hope even though hope is not near.

I am convicted. I am tried of living my perfect life while children and women and men suffer. And to make matters worse, sex predators take advantage of these hard times in places like Haiti and will pretend to be a parents or family and take these kids and sell them into sex slavery. The words I want to use right now are so strong and terrible, but I will hold my tongue and let my heart feel outraged.


Be the Change you wish to see in the world.
-Gandhi